Second sometimes are not as good as the firsts.

Well last week was better then this week. Though I did have a good week mentally, when it came to the weight loss front I didn't do so well. I gained 1.2 lbs. The reason for this was that I wasn't eating enough food. I didn't get all of my points in for the week. My goal this week is to eat every single point and to walk at least 20 minutes a day and we will see how that goes.
My mother blames herself for this in part because when we went camping she did the shopping and she shopped for her points value for the days that we were gone, not mine so we really didn't have enough food. I blame myself because I wasn't awake to go with her to help pick out the food, I feel that if I had gone things would of been different.
We did have a great time though. I believe that traveling and camping, if you have to do it, should be done in an RV. It was a very nice experience for me. I had so much fun. Mom and I talked about everything under the sun, we had such long great conversations. I really enjoyed it. We went up to Anthony NM because her hydraulics system was leaking and they told her that if she brought it to them to fix it would only be a $50 deductible so we packed up the RV and went to RV World to get it fixed. They also fixed some other things on the RV while we were there and mom went shopping and bought a bike for when she goes RVing and can't get around cause once you park an RV in a park it is meant to stay there until you are ready to either go home or move onto the next park.
Mom plans to take the RV to go see my brother over spring break here in about 3 weeks and she would love for me to go with her but since I have been having trouble with my heart she wanted to see how I would handle it. I think I did fine though my heart did bother me one day while we were up there. I so want to go with her and am hoping when I go see my doctor it won't be anything to bad and I can go with her. She will be one 12 days. Michael isn't looking forward to it if I get to go though, he isn't use to being separated from me at all.
I do have a doctors appointment today at 10:45 am. I am going to see a female doctor at the new clinic here as the doctor I wanted to go see is currently full up and not excepting new patients. I really wanted her because my mother says she is a great doctor and that she really listens to what is wrong with her patients and tries her best to help them. I'm very scared, and ashamed, I don't want people seeing me the way I am right now. I weigh to much for my own good and though I am working on getting it off it still bothers me when I have to be seen by other people. I'm always wondering what they are thinking when they see me and are they sneering at me. Its really nerve racking and belittling to my self esteem. I know I really shouldn't care what others think of me but its hard not to.
I am so grateful for my mother, without her I don't think I could face the world. She is my rock right now, and my shelter. When I think I can't do something she is there encouraging me all the while to never give up.
I am gathering information so that I can file for disability. That is the other reason I'm going to the doctor other then my heart bothering me. I have to have surgery in the future to remove these hernias and I am going to need coverage, also if there is something seriously wrong with my heart it is best to be covered then to suffer. My mother is terrified that it is something serious, that is another reason why she wants me to get checked out. She doesn't want me to go to Idaho with her to see my brother and then drop dead of a heart attack in the middle of no where. I'm going to the doc to get some answers and to see what is wrong with me. I guess we will see.
Well that is enough for one week, I will post more next Wednesday.
Hugs, Love and Light
Tracey
P.S. I am not getting any stitching done at all I have to much on my plate to worry about right now. Hopefully in the near future I can take that up again.

Setteling in and getting back into the swing.

Life has been crazy lately. My husband Michael and I made it safely to my mother and fathers in Carlsbad and we are settling in, but things aren't always easy. That being the lesson that I have been learning over the past few years.
There is a shortage of jobs here and with the Ash pot mines laying of hundreds of people and Circuit's city going out of business there is a shortage of jobs here, not to mention we are going threw a housing shortage as well. So it looks like my Dh and I will be with my parents for a while. That will be tough as both couples are use to having their privacy and space. Though mother and I are very happy to be near each other again, and Dh said we will live where ever my mother ends up that way we will always be close. I love that idea.
I want to thank Carla and Rhonda for sending me fabric. Bless both of you, though I don't remember sending out two emails with my mothers address on it, man that was one crazy week. I'm sorry if I upset either of you by having both of you send fabric to be. I do apologize for the mistake. I would like to repay the both of you if I can. I have some old cross stitch magazines with some lovely patterns in them and I would like to find out if I can send you copies of the patterns, as I don't have floss or fabric or anything that I can send back. My stitching will be limited to what I have. Once I can get those patterns copied I will send you both some which I hope to be soon. Thank you both again, you made my day when I saw those packages.
Now to something that has been bothering me a lot. Since 4 days ago, I have been having heart palpitations and I don't know why. My heart thumps painfully and I'm short on breath a lot and am dizzy some of the time. As soon as my Dh gets his first pay check we are going to the doctor, as the hospital do to the failing economy is no good for help right now. I will just have to wait and be careful but I got to tell you it is scaring the life out of me. I don't know what to make of it. I have done nothing out of the ordinary that I can think of.
Dh did get a job today, he is going to be working for a convenience store again but this time he will be working over 40 hours a week which will be nice. I am refiling for disability and I know that will take time but it needs to be done, especially if I'm going to start having heart troubles.
I will admit that I have done no stitching since I arrived here though I plan on doing some real soon. I hope to have some new pictures and a new update very soon. I will keep you all posted as to my condition and how things are fairing with me as time goes on and I hope to catch up on my mail and see how everyone is doing.
Until next time
Hugs, Love and Light
Tracey

Recieved Goodies Today.

Today I got my threads and what not that I ordered from Everything Cross Stitch. Looking at the fabric I am kinda intimidated because I have never worked with anything this small before. Most of my kits are 14-18 count and these Faeries are done on 28 count so that is really small and kinda intimidating.
My husband has suggested to get something that magnifies so I guess we will see what happens. Sorry that my message is short today but I am exhausted today and can't think straight. Hopefully the next one will be better.
Hugs and Bb
Tracey

Saddness

I was so looking forward to participating in this months Stitch a Long, that I got to work and ordered my stuff early. I had about half the color's already but no fabric and I needed the beads as well so I went ahead and ordered it all at once. I ordered it all from Everything Cross Stitch and it came back to bite me on the bottom. The didn't have the fabric or the beads and had to get them from suppliers so I won't get them till next month. So the sal will be over by then and we will be moving on to something else. Sigh, I guess this comes of not having a stash myself. I have a very small stash, but no where enough color's to do a whole project out of one of the many books that I have.
Oh well I guess I will work on UFO's this month too and see if I can get some of them done. I'm hoping too but we will see. I'm kinda depressed though so I think I will go back to bed for a time and see if I can't turn this day around with a short nap.
Hugs and Bb
Tracey

Exausted today.

I really don't think I got enough sleep, I'm so tired today. I worked out hard yesterday and I think that's set me down on my ear. I know I got to keep it up but its very hard to do when your this tired. I have been doing a bit if stitching and I got a new project and started it 3 nights ago because its hard to do Fredrick in the dark. My craft light died and I wanted to stitch but couldn't see the fabric because I had mediocer lighting and black fabric so I started curiosity. Its a lovely piece and all the color's are straight forward so no mixing and matching and (thank the gods) no metalic' I don't like metalic thread. Its so hard to work with.

I need to get some photo's up on Stitchers Heaven and on here but I haven't gotten off my sore butt and taken any lately. I guess I'm really slacking. I think I need a new audio book, if I had a new book then I could listen to it and do some major stitching and that would get me motivated to put pictures up. I just feel so blah today though and so tired. I may go back to bed here in a bit and get up later, sigh.

I got the colors and fabric for my fall piece for Stitchers Heaven. I'm going to stitch the Autumn Faerie, from Teresa Wentzler's 'Four Seasons Faeries.' She is lovely and as soon as I get off my butt and take some pictures I will get them up here. I think I'm going to stitch all four and hang them throughout the house. That would be lovely. I chose her for the Fall Season Sal in the group and I am rather excited to be stitching her. Usually I do kits because in a one bedroom apartment they are more convenient, but I couldn't find any kits that I really wanted to do. It should be fun anyway.

I was rather annoyed that I started a series of audio books by Nora Roberts called the Sign of Seven, and low and behold the third book comes out the end of November, sigh. They were really good with magic and demons' in them, very exciting and just enough steamy romance to keep me hooked. I don't usually go into the romance books but sometimes she has some really good ones. Her newest release called Tribute was actually very good and had quite a bit of mystery undertones for her so I was hooked on that one too. But I hate waiting for author's to release books, it makes it very hard to sit on ones hands and wait. I was the same with a lot of my fantasy authors' until I got swamped and then I never got caught up. I guess I will have to fix that.

The library here is awesome and it has an audio books section that you can access online. and download to your mp3 player so I have been having a blast. I started another series at the second to last book without realizing it. Now I have downloaded the book and am not sure I want to finish the series since I haven't read the first 4, sigh. I also downloaded a fantasy book that I have never heard of or the author before and am wanting to check them out. It sounded rather good but who knows.

I need to figure out how to put music on my blog like Jean does hehe, her site rocks. Oh well I guess I will play with it when I post next time. I'm having a hard time getting up enough energy for anything today. I think I may end here and go back to bed for a while and then I will see how I feel when I wake up again.

Thanks for the ear to pour my chatter into. Until next time.

Hugs and Brightest Blessings

Tracey

After a day out!

I meant to get some pictures posted yesterday but ofter my eye doctor's appointment I was very tired and ended up sleeping till about 7pm. So here is the new post for today and yesterday. I am now wearing contact lenses which are nice to have, but I had gotten so use to the frames that its hard to shift back. Also I am going to get a pair of glasses with the astigmatism correction in them so that I can see nice and clear when I drive. I also want them because I think it will make my stitching nice and clear.

Mom weighed in yesterday and she had only lost one pound this week. She was a tad disappointed because she usually looses real good the first week on a new program. Next week will be better though because she is going to walk on the treadmill she says. I wish I had a treadmill in my home, that would be nice. I don't like working out in public it makes me feel like everyone is watching me.

Mike and I are working on cleaning out the house and taking things we don't use to storage. It will give us more space to move and if we need something from storage we can just go get it, this apartment is so stuffed I can't move most of the time. Its depressing.

We are going to go rent some movies for the weekend that we have been wanting to see so that will be nice. Mike has one more day off and then he goes back to work so Saturday is gunna be spend organizing and taking breaks to watch a film or two lol.

Well here are the pictures that I promised to post yesterday so that you all may see them. I was working on it I swear LOL. I'm just so tired from hurting all the time that all I want to do day and night is sleep. I need to go to the doctor but can't bring myself to trust any of them around here. Maybe I will make some phone calls and see what I can find.

Its hard for me to stitch when mike is home, as he takes up a lot of my time and I a lot of his so I don't expect that I will get a lot done over the next few days but here is to hoping. I really love the colors in this though its a pain that there are so much color and I'm constantly switching colors around. Its coming a lot nicely though.

Well I best get up and moving because I have a few errands to run and it looks like its going to storm tonight. I will post more soon.

Hugs and Brightest Blessings

Tracey

Fun and suprizes!

My husband surprised me today with some roses today to cheer me up. I have been upset lately with the state of things in my life and he tries to cheer me up as much as he can. He is such a sweety pie. I know he can't be here a lot because he works and is taking 5 classes but he tries to make it up to me anyway he can. I asked him go outside and take pictures of my roses and my current WIP so that I can put them here. Aren't they lovely? The vase he bought me on our first valentine's day. It is a heart shaped crystal vase. I just love it. My kitty Bast decided that she liked it too and wanted to knock it over this morning. Dh got a tad upset and gave her a spanking. She has since left them alone, poor baby. She loves smells and loves to smell anything new in the house. She is so curious. I think I should of named her snoop hehe. She is one of the loveliest kitties I have ever seen. This is her in the top of my closet with my teddy bear that she has clamed for her own. She has very green eyes, almost the color of jade. I got her when she was 4 weeks old. My husband was going to go shopping and asked if I wanted anything and I told him to surprise me. it was a couple weeks before our anniversary and he brought me Bast and put her on my chest. She curled up and went right to sleep. Stole my heart in the first five minutes, and she has been trying our patience ever since :-).

Smoky Jo has been with me for 9 years the end of September. I got him when he was six weeks old. My fathers kitty snuck out and got pregnant and had 3 kitties, two of them were gray calico's most of their fur was gray though they had many markings like what Bast has. Then we got Jo, who was also gray but solid gray with a white bib, tummy and socks. His eyes just as green as Basts though. He is a big kitty which is kinda funny since he was the runt of the litter. When he was 8 weeks old he was the since of a 4 week old kitten. He sure is a cutey pie though hehe. I love my furbabies. While Dh is away most of the time the keep me company and make me smile. I spent most of the day yesterday cross stitching and I did make some progress on Fredrick which was nice. I plan on stitching some more today and maybe watching a movie or two while I am at it. Its been hard stitching on black fabric and I know that it takes some getting use to but my eyes aren't as good as they use to be. It really takes focus and patience for me. I am almost done with my 'Hang in there' Wip. It was a small kit that my husband bought for me and it was very easy to do since it was on sky blue fabric. It was very easy to see hehe and it was small so it went fast. I love doing kitties even though their fur can get annoying sometimes with all the color swapping that I have to do, but the are lovely when I am done with them. I posted a picture of Fredrick a couple of posts a go, or maybe it was last post, or rather what he will look like when I am done with him, but here is what he looks like now hehe. I am also going to put a picture of my "Hang in there" kitty. All I need to do is finish off the clouds and put the hang in there on there and he is done. I need to start framing these but I have no where to hang them as we are not allowed to put holes in the walls of our apartment to hang pictures or anything like that up. I dream of someday having a home of my own. Where I can do what I want and no one can get mad at me if I want to paint or put up pictures or even knockout a wall if I want to. Hmm, for some reason it won't let me put up more pictures, that is weird. Maybe my net is acting up. Oh well I will put them up on tomorrow's post.

Hugs and Bb

Tracey